The top questions on most people’s minds at the start of the year are; why do new year resolutions fail and what can be done for them to be achieved this year? These questions are absolutely valid as research has shown that around 80% of New Year’s resolutions fail. This article therefore seeks to answer your questions and suggest ways through which your resolutions can succeed.
Why do new year resolutions fail?
From research and personal experience, I have discovered that most of us can’t bring about significant changes in our lives if we don’t understand why we act the way we do. This is primarily the reason why new year resolutions fail. Recognizing what holds us back and keeps us locked in self-sabotaging behaviors and understanding our mindsets, beliefs, habits, and fears, will help us discern why specific goals will be hard for us to achieve, unless we commit to a much deeper level of change.
Three reasons why new year resolutions fail.
You fail to make a mindset change.
For us to achieve anything we want, we have to go beyond just trying to make behavioral change to get it. Because mindset change influences behavioral change, you won’t be able to develop or sustain the needed behavior to achieve your resolutions if you don’t have a mindset change. The words of Albert Einstein come to mind here; he said, “we cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.
You lack an accountability structure or don’t have a proper structure.
Changes and goals don’t just happen overnight. They require sustained action that will keep you moving forward in the direction of your goals despite the challenges and setbacks that are bound to happen. The sustained action will stretch us out of our comfort zones and the way we know life. So you need the right accountability partner that believes in you and your goals to help you every step of the way.
You are scared of achieving the big goal you set and can’t let yourself do it.
Sometimes we may consciously want to achieve a goal, but inside we are scared to do it, so we hold ourselves back. That is the upper limit problem, and it has been researched and written about. One book that does great justice to this is Gay Hendricks book, The big leap. It explains the four barriers to achieving what we want. I will give some highlights below.
- Feeling fundamentally flawed: We think something is wrong with us, and we are undeserving of enormous success and happiness.
- Disloyalty and abandonment: this is fear of feeling disloyal and not wanting to leave behind people who have been there for us. So we hold ourselves back.
- The belief that huge success brings an even more significant burden
- The fear of shining so bright: This brings to mind a movie called Akeelah and the bee; when Akeelah recited the famous quote by Marianne Williamson, this quote talks about our deepest fears and what we should do about it. The quote reads:
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
Conclusion
To make your new year resolutions successful, you need to understand why you want to achieve them, your motivation to achieve sustained progress in them, and then proactively address any fears you might have about reaching your goals. Then go all out and achieve your resolutions. All the best.
