‘Boundaries’ is quite an abused word, for it is often misused. In simple terms, boundaries are the principles with which you identify yourself.
Setting boundaries is commonly understood as an act of communicating personal values assertively. In the end, this helps one preserve and protect their values without having to compromise them.
It is healthy for individuals to communicate their wants and needs without feeling that they are asking for too much.
Unhealthy boundaries disregard your values, wants and needs together with those of others. It puts an individual in a position to accommodate others at the expense of their feelings and comfort.
It is hard for two or more individuals to fully accommodate each other’s needs. Therefore, it is vital to understand that they may hurt one another but can ultimately deduce how they make each other feel.
One feels frustrated and uncomfortable when their boundaries are not respected and so should ensure they earn respect for their boundaries at any cost.
Here is How to Comfortably Set Boundaries
You must know your limits, identify your barriers and fears before any other thing, and then define your boundaries with friends, family or colleagues.
Be assertive about your boundaries because setting them is easy but what counts is the follow-through which turns out to be very significant. Being firm can sometimes be very scary, but taking it as a journey and starting with something manageable to help build up the skill is easier.
You can either communicate the boundary when you feel disrespected, frustrated or even uncomfortable if you have the courage to or you can wait until the situation is calm and everyone is okay to communicate effectively. Choose what works for you for effectiveness.
When to Set a Boundary
One is expected to politely set boundaries with the people they interact with, immediately they feel uncomfortable about a particular situation. For example, let’s say a friend keeps asking for details about your personal life, but you do not feel like sharing whatever it is with them. You can politely tell them that you do not feel comfortable whenever they ask you about your personal life and that you would like them to stop. This right here is a boundary set, so if the other person is not willing to respect that, then avoid them because you are not supposed to accommodate others at the expense of your own feelings. Any moment you repeatedly feel sad, uncomfortable or even frustrated when something is said or done to you, this alone is significant enough to make you set a boundary.
Reasons Why People Fear to Set Boundaries
One may have a fear of communicating a boundary to the people around them due to many reasons, which may include;
1)Fear of losing friends or a good relationship with the people around them
2)They may also be afraid of how the other person may react
3)One may be afraid because they don’t want to appear as being selfish and mean to others
4)One may also be afraid because they are unsure why they don’t want certain things said or directed to them because they don’t know how to express it or feel like they do not have a good reason to support it.
Whatever it is, healthy boundaries are paramount, for they contribute significantly to your well-being. Don’t allow your spaces to steal your joy. Set that boundary today. Don’t fear being your authentic self.
