There is an angle that holds everything together, from the people you work with, the people you live with, and the people you serve in terms of your customers.
For you to get along with people, there are some expectations they have of you.
Let’s consider a prime example.
Saul of tarsus was an intense person. Due to the intensity and roughness of his personality, any village or town that heard the news of his coming scampered to safety. Saul was so out of line, as long as the followers of Christ were concerned.
One day, while he was on a journey to arrest the followers of Christ in Damascus, he met something he had never met before, irrespective of his being the most feared and dreaded. Jesus used a recruitment process that he (saul) could not ignore. This converted him from a negative personality to a constructive, amendable, and friendly personality. He gained the skill of tolerance and spread the word.
Even years before Saul’s recruitment, Jesus showed some level of tolerance and intensity at the synagogues, where the people turned the temple into a place of merchandise. Entering there, he turned the tables, wiped them, and sternly warned of releasing the same measure of discipline if they repeated the mistake and people changed.
Having a pleasing personality is not always about being a people pleaser. It is developing those traits that help people gravitate towards you while remaining focused on what you should achieve.
Looking at these stories, one started with tolerance and ended with some intensity, and the other started with intensity and ended with tolerance.
This leads us to explore the principle of pleasing personality.
Trait –1: Tolerance:
Tolerance is defined in four ways. Before you say you are a tolerant person, did you pass these four tests?
1–Open Minded And Receptive: Are you open-minded and receptive to everyone?
2–Capable Of Entertaining All: Are you capable of entertaining all subjects, whether you agree with them or not?
3–Do you do this at all times?
4–Do you do it under all circumstances?
A tolerant person can keep an open mind towards all people, all subjects, at all times, under all circumstances.
Looking at these two areas with the most intense and emotional imbalance in the area of religion and politics;
Suppose you are the kind of person who can listen to everyone, irrespective of their religion, school of thought, and political background, at all times under all circumstances – you become very easy to get along with.
Tolerance is a crucial trait when it comes to a pleasing personality.
Trait 2: Optimism
When you find people telling you that you have to face reality, they expect you not to show much optimism.
More than half the time, people use that excuse to be pessimistic about something. But the people who believe that all things go well and have that positive outlook in life find out that reality often matches their expectations of life.
Most importantly, I can make a difference because I have a quality mental attitude, am optimistic, and can pass this on to somebody else.
Trait–3: Selfless Service:
Selfless service is the ability to provide a service without any expectations beyond the service itself because someone will tell you, “I can only do this if….” So you find out that, for every service they render, there is always a motive beyond the service, which makes it not selfless.
One of the best keys to a pleasing personality is to serve and go. Whatever you do, give and forget. That is selfless service.
Trait–4: Tactfulness:
What is tactfulness about?
If you teach and train people, you will approach people from the level of frankness of speech and be able to express it when the person is doing right or wrong.
The question now is, “how tactful are you?” When you are tactful, you can take advice. Out of tactfulness, you get better operation. Because we are born to gravitate around ourselves by nature, the ability to step out of our bounds and see people for what they are, recognize them for their effort, and help them work out their plans is very crucial.
I assert that if you give enough people what they want, you will get what you want. So the tact here is your ability to give people what they want so you can get what you want.
Trait–5: Enthusiasm
Enthusiasm came from the word enthousiasmós, which is greek. Meaning possessed by a god.
When you are enthusiastic, it appears like you have the spirit of the god force. You have higher power and more intensity. You have more clarity and focus. You have increased effectiveness.
Enthusiasm is like a dog. If you don’t control it, it can cause much damage. So controlled enthusiasm means you ensure that you are appropriately enthusiastic. Because if you leave it uncontrolled, where you are enthusiastic about everything without due regard to other parties involved, you weigh them down.
But if they put it in a good measure and the right intensity, the right amount of time, then you find out that through this enthusiasm, you can absorb what this person is talking about, their energy, and emotion. If you can absorb your energy and their emotion, they absorb it, own it, and take it.
Because we live in a spiritual world and believe that we are interconnected by faith to one source of energy, then getting along with each other is pretty easy. Controlled enthusiasm is a pleasing personality.
Enthusiasm is the energy that helps you package your flow from your idea and vision to the next person. If you can do that, you can win people to your side.
Trait–6: Decision
Have you seen a scenario where someone is tagged as indecisive? How often will you want to assign a critical role to a person if you know this person is indecisive?
You want someone capable of making the right decision or at least the ability to make a decision as soon as they have all the information. They are capable of understanding what you are providing.
With an indecisive person, you will give them all the information and all the facts, and then they will tell you, let me think about it. Yet being a professional, you have given them all the information they need. You want to stay away from anyone who is indecisive like that. You naturally gravitate away from them.
With someone who listens and assimilates the information you give, and when you are done, they decide, act, and implement immediately – these are the kind of people you want to work with.
So when it comes to decision-making, tolerance, optimism, tactfulness, and enthusiasm all have a big part to play.
Now, this is something you don’t know; you don’t even have to go out to look for them. They will find you. Especially people who are going somewhere, people who are living a meaningful life, and people who are doing something with their life, they will always find you. It’s a natural thing.
Just like water, people find their level. Decision-making ability is crucial if you want someone who can lead an army in a place of war. If we are retreating, we are retreating. We don’t stand still.
Should Young People work on developing a pleasing personality?
A pleasing personality is one of the greatest tools for starting a career.
It is so much of a profit to them because of expectation. On the person’s end, there is an expectation of a pleasing personality from others.
On the other hand, there is an expectation from the leadership that the young person would have a pleasing personality. An open mind towards all people and all subjects, at all times under all circumstances, would help the young person develop this ability.
So if this young person pays attention to what their mentors and leaders say, they stand a higher chance of landing faster, working better, and being understood more. Because when people realize that you are always paying attention, open-minded, and teachable, they are pleased with you.
When you have a pleasing personality, the expectation is that you automatically even go the extra mile.
You become more visible to those who will give you more opportunities and to those who will help you to advance. You are not just visible; you are likable and attractive to them. Just be authentic, do good, and listen.
The ability to entertain a thought even when you disagree with it will put you on a path that nobody else can take. Nobody can stop you if you have an open mind and are receptive.
Here is a quote for you;
“We live in an already perfect continent, yet our brotherhood continues to grow, and our opportunities keep expanding.”
